Curiouser and Curiouser
Becoming: more open to interest
Before you read this week’s newsletter, I invite you to consider these questions:
What are you curious about?
What have you wondered recently?
Curiosity: an eager wish to know or learn something.
(Cambridge Dictionary)
Where exactly is Lapland? What is a human dog bed? What is the difference between ‘historic’ and ‘prehistoric’?
My internet browser reliably informs me that these are three things that have piqued my curiosity in the last couple of days. A human dog bed: who knew?
I’d imagine that if you checked your own search history, you’d find the questions that you’ve been asking recently and like me, the chances are that they’re shiny snippets of trivia that have somehow caught your attention. The Pinterest algorithm clearly has me all figured out!
The thing is, we’re all naturally curious beings. Consider for a second how it feels when we realise that other people are in possession of a piece of gossip that we don’t yet know. Think of the toddler’s fascination with, well, everything. And consider how ‘Google’ has become a verb: something we do, rather than just the name of a company ready to serve us information.
A couple of years back, I read Megan C. Hayes’ book, Write Yourself Happy: The Art of Positive Journalling. She explores how, rather than use journalling solely as an outlet for negative emotions, we can use it to support our wellbeing by focusing on ‘what…goes right when we write’.
In the book, the author takes us through eight, positive human emotions, providing prompts and questions to explore each one. The one that really got me thinking – and writing - was that of ‘Interest’.
Hayes writes of the debates that psychologists have had as to whether interest counts as an emotion at all. Some might suggest that curiosity is more of a fleeting experience, a state of being, rather than a feeling. But when we consider the fact that what captures our attention can motivate us to take action and make changes in our lives, then it’s worth exploring.
Let’s just take a moment to recognise that we are subjected to hundreds of messages every single day, all trying to signal something that we might become interested in. Whether it’s games like Candy Crush, checking the latest news or endless notifications about Black Friday (it can’t have been just me), we are constantly being called to action.
How much control do we currently have in deciding what captures our attention? How consciously are we making choices about where to invest our most precious - and ultimately, finite - resource of all, time?
I can tell you now that googling the human dog bed has added absolutely nothing to my life. So rather than consider the bright, shiny objects and thoughts that lead us down all kinds of internet rabbit holes, what if we were to consider interest as something that we could become much more aware of, that we could actively build into our lives and use as a springboard for real, conscious growth?
Where might our curiosity lead us, if we created an opening for it in our lives? What opportunity for interests, pastimes, learning, thinking, invention, creation and play could reach us if we opened ourselves up to the possibility of fascination?
Hayes poses this scenario:
‘Imagine if, as a child, you had not been intrigued to learn how things in the world worked. Or, as a teenager, you had no interest in befriending others. Such a lack of interest makes life stagnant and lonely’.
When we consider the possibility of interest, we begin to see that our adult selves are just as deserving of ongoing development and growth as our young selves were.
There is potential for curiosity and interest in: the food you try; the places you visit; the books you read; the clothes you wear; the routine of your day; the roads you travel; the time you plan; the conversations you have; the music you listen to; the films you watch; the retailers you buy from; the paths you walk; the people around you. There is more. What might you like to become curious about? What could you become attracted to or fascinated by?
And what if we gave a little space to cultivating interest in our own thinking and feeling?
Some might feel that this somehow sounds self-indulgent - but I believe that when we can ask ourselves, without judgement and with compassion, questions like ‘What is happening for me here?’ or ‘Why might I be reacting as I am?’, we are on the path to understanding ourselves in a way that allows us to move forward with clarity.
Cultivating curiosity brings us an opportunity to learn about ourselves, about others and about how we take our place in the world. It gives us a greater sense of who we are and what we want, what we stand for and believe. It inspires personal, intellectual, emotional growth and help us to embrace our experience of what it is to be human…
…with or without a dog bed.
In the section below, you’ll find some resources to support you in becoming, as you are. Take what you want to or need to - and feel free to share what you have found here.
Notes on Becoming Curious:
Key conditions for optimal curiosity: safety and novelty, at the same time.
Megan C. Hayes writes:
‘We tend to feel interest in situations where we sense that we are safe, but that also provide us with some novelty. We become interested by challenges and mysteries we encounter, that draw our attention but do not overwhelm us – instead, they give us the desire to explore, learn and ultimately expand ourselves.’
What might create the safety you need to feel in order for you to explore the novel?
Julia Cameron, the author of the creative exploration that is The Artist’s Way encourages her readers to complete this exercise:
‘List twenty things you enjoy doing… When was the last time you let yourself do these things? Next to each entry, place a date. Don’t be surprised if it’s been years for some of your favourites. That will change.’
When I wrote my own list, it compelled me to take action, opening myself up to new – and forgotten – learning experiences.
Coaching Questions & Journalling Prompts:
Consider a time when something in the past has really captured your interest. How did it come to your attention? What did this opportunity bring you? How did the experience shape you?
When were you last fascinated?
When you were young, what interested you? What could hold your attention? What do you remember as being the things you loved to spend time doing?
What are the specific lessons, the topics or the facts that you recall from your education? What is it about these particular learning experiences that have stayed with you?
How deeply do you allow your curiosity to go?
Once your thoughts have percolated and settled, let me know what you got from today’s newsletter: I’d really love to hear from you. You can connect with me here on Substack or via www.katiepoolecoaching.com